Some people never rebuild. Not because they can’t. Not because the opportunity isn’t there. Not because they don’t have what it takes.
They never rebuild because they never get past themselves.
When the walls of their life collapse—whether it’s their marriage, their business, their spiritual life, or their confidence—they don’t respond like Nehemiah. They don’t inspect the damage and strategize a way forward.
Instead, they fall into one of three patterns that guarantee failure.
1. The Denial Dude: "Nothing to See Here"
Denial is comfortable. It lets you pretend that the cracks in the foundation don’t exist. It convinces you that if you ignore the problem long enough, it will go away on its own.
It never does.
The Denial Dude says things like:
"It’s just a rough patch." (Even though it’s been years.)
"Things will get better soon." (But they never do.)
"I’m fine." (Even though everyone around them knows they aren’t.)
Denial isn’t just avoidance—it’s an act of self-sabotage. It lets problems fester until they become impossible to ignore. By the time reality finally forces its way in, the damage is catastrophic.
Nehemiah could have chosen denial. He could have convinced himself that Jerusalem’s walls weren’t that bad. That the rumors were exaggerated. That someone else would fix it.
Instead, he inspected the ruins himself. He faced the truth before the truth crushed him.
2. The Overwhelmed Observer: "It’s Too Late"
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Overwhelmed Observer—the person who sees the ruins but is paralyzed by them.
"This is impossible."
"There’s no way forward."
"It’s too far gone."
They don’t ignore reality. In fact, they stare at it so intently that it consumes them.
Instead of denial, they drown in despair. Instead of refusing to see the problem, they fixate on it until it crushes them. They become convinced that because they can’t fix everything, they shouldn’t fix anything.
The truth? Every great rebuild started with one brick.
Nehemiah saw the devastation firsthand. He knew exactly how bad it was. But he didn’t spiral into hopelessness—he made a plan. He took one step. And then another.
Rebuilders aren’t naive optimists. They don’t pretend things aren’t bad. They just refuse to let “bad” become “permanent.”
3. The Know-It-All Builder: "No Need to Assess—Let’s Go!"
The third type? The Know-It-All Builder—the person who jumps into action before they understand what they’re dealing with.
They don’t inspect. They don’t assess. They don’t ask questions.
They assume they already know everything and start fixing the wrong problems.
The couple in a struggling marriage who thinks a vacation will solve their issues—when the real problem is years of unresolved resentment.
The entrepreneur whose business is failing, but instead of evaluating their leadership, they just double their marketing budget.
The pastor who assumes their church isn’t growing because of culture—when the real issue is poor leadership.
Wasted effort is just as dangerous as no effort at all.
Nehemiah didn’t rush. He inspected the walls himself before making a move. He spent three days gathering information before he even spoke to anyone. Because real rebuilding requires real strategy.
Why This Matters for You
You’re either rebuilding something right now or you will be soon.
If you’re human, things break.
The difference between the people who restore what was lost and those who don’t comes down to this:
Denial Dude never starts because he refuses to see the problem.
The Overwhelmed Observer never starts because the problem looks too big.
The Know-It-All Builder starts in the wrong direction and wastes years chasing the wrong thing.
But Nehemiah?
He saw clearly—without denial or despair.
He made a plan—without rushing into empty action.
He rebuilt strategically—one brick at a time.
The question is: Which one are you?
If you’re stuck in denial, wake up. If you’re stuck in despair, take one step. If you’re rushing forward without clarity, stop and reassess.
Because the people who rebuild—the people who actually restore what’s broken—aren’t the ones who just believe things will get better.
They’re the ones who face reality and move forward anyway.