You are where you are because of the fights you were willing to have—or the ones you avoided. It’s that simple.
Somewhere along the way, we bought into the lie that keeping the peace is the goal. But Jesus didn’t call us to be peacekeepers. He called us to be peacemakers. And there’s a big difference. Peacekeepers avoid conflict. Peacemakers step into it, take ownership, and build something better in its place.
Why Christians Struggle with Conflict
Let’s be honest—Christians are notoriously bad at handling conflict. We avoid it. We fear it. And when we do engage, we often do it terribly. Why?
We confuse kindness with passivity. We think that being nice means never rocking the boat. That avoiding confrontation is a virtue. But in reality, avoiding necessary conflict isn’t kindness—it’s cowardice. I know how strong your fight life is by how strong your prayer life is. If you don’t know how to contend in the secret place, you’ll never know how to contend in the public space. We think that being nice means never rocking the boat. That avoiding confrontation is a virtue. But in reality, avoiding necessary conflict isn’t kindness—it’s cowardice.
We’ve been conditioned to keep the peace. Many of us were raised in church cultures that emphasized harmony over honesty. We were told to "forgive and forget" instead of addressing real issues. And so we became people-pleasers rather than truth-tellers.
We don’t like discomfort. Fighting for what matters is uncomfortable. Calling out sin is awkward. Confronting toxicity is painful. It’s easier to pretend everything’s fine than to do the hard work of real reconciliation and real leadership.
We’re afraid of losing relationships. The fear of rejection keeps us silent. We’d rather let a friendship or a marriage slowly deteriorate than risk a conversation that might change everything.
But avoiding conflict doesn’t make it go away—it makes it worse. And when we refuse to fight for what matters, we give the enemy free rein in our lives, our families, and our communities.
Fighting Isn’t the Problem. Avoiding the Fight Is.
Most people in the church don’t know how to fight. We’ve been taught to back down. To let it go. To let the enemy run rampant in our marriages, our families, our careers, and our calling because we think that avoiding conflict is a sign of maturity.
It’s not.
Nehemiah understood this. In Nehemiah 4, the opposition showed up as soon as the work started. Samballat and Tobiah mocked and ridiculed them, trying to get in their heads. That’s how the enemy works. The moment you move from talking about something to building something, the opposition shows up.
So what did Nehemiah do? He prayed—and then he acted. He set guards. He armed his people. He made sure they were ready to fight. And then he told them something crucial:
Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes. (Nehemiah 4:14)
He didn’t tell them to run. He told them to remember.
Remember who God is. Remember what’s at stake. Remember what you’re building—and why it’s worth fighting for.
The Cost of Avoiding the Fight
Some of you are stuck. You’ve been circling the same mountain for years because, at some point, God called you to something, and you didn’t step in. Fear crept in. The enemy got in your head. And instead of fighting, you backed down.
Good news: You can get back in the fight. God restores the years the enemy has stolen.
The enemy wants to get in your head. He wants to discourage you, depress you, and convince you that you’ve lost your appointment. But here’s the truth:
You are anointed.
You are appointed.
And the enemy can’t take that from you.
So What Do You Do?
Pray like a warrior. Stop praying passive prayers. Stop asking God to do what He’s given you the authority to do. Pray boldly. Pray militantly. I know how strong your fight life is by how strong your prayer life is. If you don’t know how to contend in the secret place, you’ll never know how to contend in the public space. Stop praying passive prayers. Stop asking God to do what He’s given you the authority to do. Pray boldly. Pray militantly. Pray publicly.
Fight for your faith. If your faith is weak, everything else will be. Get filled with the Holy Spirit. Pray in tongues. Build yourself up in the most holy faith.
Fight for your family. Revival begins at home. Love your spouse. Date your spouse. Fight for your kids.
Fight for your future. God has a plan for you, but you have to fight for it. Declare His promises. Take action. Stop waiting for the perfect moment—it doesn’t exist.
The Bottom Line
The enemy has a strategy to take you out. To keep you stuck. To keep you scared. But you weren’t called to be passive. You weren’t called to sit on the sidelines.
You were called to fight.
And fight we will.
Because we serve a warrior King.