We’re continuing our blog series on What to Do When Your Marriage is in Trouble. If you haven’t caught the previous entries yet, do yourself a favor and go back to the beginning. Trust me—it’s worth it for the full picture, because all of these ideas build on each other.
Today, we’re tackling one of the most foundational, yet most difficult, steps in the process: trusting God, no matter the outcome. Now, if you’re here looking for the quick fix to mend your marriage or a guaranteed path to happily ever after, this may not be what you want to hear—but it’s exactly what you need. Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, not just with your spouse, but with God. And before you can move forward, you need to settle in your heart that your trust in God isn’t tied to the outcome of your situation. It’s deeper than that.
So, let's get real. Trusting God when things are falling apart around you isn’t just an option—it’s the only way forward if you want true peace, no matter what happens next.
When your marriage is hanging by a thread, every moment feels heavy.
There's this weight—a kind of silent panic—that rests on your shoulders, not knowing if everything you've built is about to come crashing down. And that panic? It can consume you. This is why we need to address something profound, something foundational. Because before you even begin to think about fixing your marriage, before the late-night talks, the therapy sessions, and the apologies, there’s a more urgent issue at hand: Can you trust God regardless of the outcome?
This is important because it gets to the heart of where your hope really lies. If you’re placing all your hope in your spouse, in the restoration of your relationship, or in a specific resolution, then you’re setting yourself up for a potentially devastating fall. But if you place your trust in something greater, in someone greater, then no matter what happens, you will be okay. That's the promise we cling to. In a world where we scramble for guarantees, the most important guarantee is the one no one seems to talk about—trusting God without knowing how things will turn out. And yes, it’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary.
A Commitment Without Conditions
So here’s the deal—you’ve got to make a decision. Now. Not after your spouse apologizes. Not after things magically improve. But right now, while things are still unresolved and chaotic, you need to decide: Will you trust God no matter what happens?
This isn’t some motivational pep talk. This is life-altering stuff. Trusting God without conditions is hard. It's counterintuitive. We’re used to trusting as long as we have control over the outcome, right? But true trust means letting go, surrendering your need to control the narrative. It’s about handing over the reigns, even when you’re terrified about where this ride is going.
You’ve got to draw that line in the sand today. You have to declare, "No matter what happens, I will trust the Lord." Because if you wait until you know how things will end, then it’s not really trust—it’s just delayed anxiety. Trust means committing yourself to God before you see how things will play out. It means anchoring yourself in the only thing that will never change, the only one who is truly in control.
What If Things Don’t Go the Way You Want?
And let’s be honest here—things might not turn out the way you want them to. You could be praying for a miracle, hoping for reconciliation, believing for healing—and it still might not happen. I’m not saying that to discourage you, but to prepare you. You need to know that trusting God isn’t about getting the results you want. It’s about knowing that He is good, even when the situation isn’t.
Imagine standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at uncertainty. You’ve been told to jump, to trust that God will catch you. But what if you’re thinking, “What if He doesn’t catch me? What if I fall? What if I get hurt?” That’s the real fear, isn’t it? That God will let you down. That you’ll trust, and things still won’t turn out. But here’s the thing—trusting God isn’t about being safe from pain. It’s about knowing that even if you fall, He’s there with you in the fall. That is faith. That is trust.
Think about Job’s prayer in the Bible: “Even if you slay me, I will trust you.” Job had lost everything—his family, his wealth, his health—everything. And yet, he still trusted God. That’s the kind of faith we’re talking about. Not the kind that depends on things going well, but the kind that endures through the worst of it.
Conditional Faith is No Faith at All
Too often, we approach God with conditional faith. We say things like, “God, if you fix this, I’ll trust you more,” or “If you answer this prayer, then I’ll know you’re real.” But here’s the hard truth—that’s not trust. That’s a transaction. And God doesn’t operate in the realm of bargains. His faithfulness isn’t dependent on whether things go the way you want them to. And your faith shouldn’t be, either.
True trust in God means letting go of the bargaining chips. It’s releasing your need for guarantees and outcomes, and simply saying, “No matter what happens, I will trust You.” It’s not easy. In fact, it’s terrifying. But if you don’t make that commitment now, then when the tough times come—and they will—you’ll crumble under the weight of your own expectations.
It’s like planting a tree. You don’t see the fruit overnight. You don’t know how long it will take to grow, or if it will even grow the way you expect. But you plant it anyway, you water it, you care for it, trusting that in time, it will bear fruit. That’s what trust in God looks like. You plant your faith in Him, without knowing how things will turn out, and you trust that He will bring forth something good—even if it’s not what you originally expected.
The Danger of Blaming God
Let’s get real for a second—when things don’t go the way we want, we tend to blame God. We say things like, “God, where were You? Why didn’t You fix this? Why did You let this happen?” But here’s the reality: God is not to blame for the mess we’re in. We live in a broken world, filled with broken people, and sometimes, life just goes sideways. But blaming God is the quickest way to distance yourself from the very One who can help you through it.
You see, we’re often quick to shake our fists at the heavens when things go wrong, but slow to examine our own hearts. And that’s the root of the problem, isn’t it? It’s easier to point fingers than it is to look inward. But trust me when I say that the healing process starts when you stop blaming God and start trusting Him, regardless of the outcome.
Taking Ownership of Your Own Chaos
Here’s another hard truth—before you can even think about fixing your marriage, you need to take ownership of your own chaos. You can’t sweep things under the rug forever. Eventually, the mess will spill out, and you’ll have to face it. So, own the mess. Own the fear, the shame, the control issues that are wreaking havoc on your heart. Acknowledge the chaos before you, and bring it before God.
It’s easy to point out the flaws in your spouse, but healing begins when you address the issues in your own heart. And that starts with trusting God enough to say, “No matter what happens, I will serve You. I will love You. I will trust You.”
Trust is a Process, Not a Quick Fix
Let’s be clear—trusting God is a process. It’s not a one-time decision that makes everything magically better. It’s a daily choice, a continuous surrender. Every day, you’ll have to remind yourself, “I trust You, Lord, no matter what.” Some days, it will be easy. Other days, it will feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But here’s the good news: God is with you in the process.
It’s like working out. You don’t see the results right away, but you keep going, because you know that over time, things will change. You may not see it, but God is at work in your life, even when the circumstances around you seem unchanged. Trust the process, even when you don’t see immediate results.
The Final Call: Trusting in the Unknown
So, here’s where we land. Can you trust God before you see the outcome? Can you trust Him enough to let go of the need for guarantees, to release control over how things turn out? This is the moment where you decide, not just for your marriage, but for your life—will you trust God, no matter what happens?
Because that’s the key. Not the outcome, but the trust. It’s the kind of trust that sets you free from the anxiety of not knowing what’s coming next. It’s the trust that brings peace in the middle of uncertainty. It’s the trust that says, “Even if things don’t go my way, I know that God is still good.”
And that trust? It’s not just powerful. It’s life-changing.